All I could notice today was Jonah’s sweet little hand and the big bruise on it that he never deserved. Man, thinking about that puts into perspective how God must have felt looking down at Jesus on the cross taking on the pain and shame of all the sin that was never His to bear.
This past week we spent a couple of days (one full night and one half night) in the hospital with Jonah boy. Thursday night he was up at 2am trying to nurse, couldn’t stop coughing, started breathing rapidly, and I knew something just wasn’t right. I took him down to Thomas, he quickly agreed, we called Marilyn, she was over instantaneously (praise the Lord for her) and we were on our way. It was a bit of a scary drive… I just felt so frustrated bc it seems like we have been dealing with these dumb issues for way too long. Ever since he got RSV officially, its been an ongoing struggle.
So we got to the hospital, they ran lots of tests, did an xray, some bloodwork (gah, that was really hard. His first time getting that done), and eventually determined he needed to be admitted bc of his breathing rate and wheezing. At the time I was actually relieved bc it seemed like this would be the way we could finally figure this out. We’ve been in the ER with Jonah in the middle of the night multiple times but never been admitted.
I think the worst part of it all was the IV. That or the oxygen tubes in his nose. The nurses struggled with putting in his IV and he just screamed and screamed. I left the room because I couldn’t take it. Thomas stayed with him. That’s why he is so bruised up though. On his sweet little hands. They tried it on both and couldn’t get it for the longest time. Then they put this cardboard thing on and tried to tape it a bunch bc he kept chewing at it and trying to get it off. Ugh, my heart.
By the time the morning officially rolled around Thomas had to get to work. This happened right during the most stressful, busy, crazy time at the plant. I was there alone for most of the time with Jonah which was definitely challenging. Thankfully my mom came as much as she could and stayed with us but she had to help with Esther and get some other things done too. He hated it there… wouldn’t sleep. The only way I could get him to calm down was by nursing him. That really came in handy though… Since I was nursing him I got a free guest tray. Otherwise I would have had to pay for every one. Although they were very clear I did not get to pick the food I wanted, I was still thankful to at least be given something… Some of it was less than appetizing so I ended up ordering a pizza but still it was reassuring I wasn’t going to starve to death. That and my mom brought me a bunch of snacks and chocolate and books and lotion and of COURSE my Plexus which I would have suffered tragically without.
So since he hated the metal bar crib AKA jail for a baby he just laid by me and nursed if he was calm which was about 10% of the time. The other 90% he was jittery and hyper and a little bit wild because of the steroid he has been on. That + a tiny room with NOWHERE for a baby to walk/play/explore proved to be a royal pain in the tail. The only place he could burn off energy was in his little jail cell and when he did that he twisted up all his cords and wires which sent his monitor into a beeping frenzy and the nurses would come in saying, “oh my, my my! What have you done little man?!” as they tried to untangle the mess. Some of the nurses were super sweet and helpful. Others needed a nap or chocolate or something. We tried to ignore them. Well, it was only one. But that’s not really important.
Anyways!! I couldn’t have asked for more support, texts, Marco Polos, comments, messages, etc. Its amazing how people rally for you and support you in hard times. I dog on social media a lot and sometimes say how I wish we lived in simpler times without being SO connected (and disconnected simultaneously) but in this situation, I was really reminded of the good that social media can bring. Our church sent some beautiful flowers that I repeatedly sniffed for a whiff of calm and happiness. Jonah would be in my arms trying to fight for freedom, climbing up the window, knocking over his snacks, crying and crying – I wouldn’t want to do that again. Like ever. But we had some really fun moments like when he was in the crib/jail cell and I ran around and made him laugh. He looked SO sweet in his little baby hospital gown. Goodness, I just love that boy.
Everyone that came in and helped us commented on how beautiful he is. His eyes. How happy and sweet he is. Even in that awful situation, he brought joy to everyone that saw him. In the end, they determined that this was all caused by asthma…which was triggered by RSV. So now we have to do more research on what his asthma triggers are… stay up on his asthma meds as well as breathing treatments and we are finishing out the steroid too. I’m also starting him on ProBio5 and vitamin C powder as we give him the asthma medication granules. I’m hoping that sooner than later we can move away from the asthma med and just stick to his probiotic and vitamins. I really believe we will be able to! Just have to give it time.
The homecoming was so good though. You don’t realize how much you appreciate your normal until your normal gets shaken. The hiding on the couch while daddy counts and then tickles us… the books before bedtime… the dinner together at the table. I love our little family. Today was special too…Since it was Sunday Thomas got to be home all day. The kids slept in (of course the only day lol) so I got to sleep and it was glorious!! We had a big breakfast together of chocolate chip pancakes, bacon, and eggs. Esther loves bacon so much! Haha. Then we took a trip to 392 for a family coffee date. Gosh, Essie was so sweet singing songs and hugging Thomas over and over. Jonah sweetly sat in my lap smiling and waving at anyone he saw. Esther picked out an apple cream cheese cupcake and I got Jonah a blueberry streusel muffin. Streusel. That is a weird word. And I had to look up how to spell it. Ok, I feel better now that you know that. My conscious was itching when I wondered if you thought I knew how to spell it on my own and I didn’t.
Ok, moving on. I got my FAVORITE thing ever… An iced caramel macchiato. I did try it with almond milk this time since I am mostly dairy free these days and…. it tasted just as good! Woop-dee-doo-dah-day!!! Thomas got a Chem-x something or other fancy, fruity coffee. It was pretty legit looking. We both just looked at each other and sighed knowing its the absolute best coffee on the planet. Then we got home.. I sat out in the car while Esther took her nap. The boys went inside and napped. I made a cleaning board on Trello, baked up some egg cups for breakfasts this week, Essie watched Curious George, and then it was time for family dinner! What a marvelous Sunday. I am so happy to be home and that our little boy is on the upswing. I love you so much, Jonah. You are precious to us.